I've been thinking about life lately...scary right?
We think we know exactly how things are going to work out,
or at least a pretty good idea. Then, suddenly, there's a curve in the road
and we realize nothing will be the way we thought it would be.
How are we supposed to deal with those changes?
Are we supposed to just accept them?
Are we allowed to be unbelievably ticked off for awhile? I have no idea.

[Edit]
God works in crazy ways, ways that I will never be able to understand. This weekend was amazing. I don't think I've ever been impacted so much by one single message. God took so much stuff from me, stuff that I never thought I could be free of. To think that I almost missed a truly life-changing experience [for me personally] is kind of scary. God had it all planned out - He saw me wasting away spiritually and He knew that I needed a change.

Philip talked about being "fakey-fakey" Christians and I realized that he was describing me. I look ok as a Chrisitan, I say most of the right stuff, I go to church, I'm involved in youth group stuff, but I was dying inside and no one really knew. I'm not even sure if I knew the magnitude of the situation I was in. All I know is I feel like a brand new person - don't expect a halo or anything when you see me : ] - I'm brand new on the inside, where it counts.

He also answered all of my earlier entry through my quiet time this morning. I was reading my devotional and it was talking about surrendering ourselves - body, mind, and soul - to God. God knew that I would be searching for answers and He placed that book in my hand to read when He knew I would be ready to accept it. There is one passage that I want to share because it meant so much to me.

"Deciding to follow Jesus no matter what and surrendering everything to Him can be a scary thing. What about our dreams? Our hopes? Our plans? Why does God want it all?

God wants our everything because He has bigger plans and dreams in mind for us than anything we could ever imagine. We're limited, finite creatures, and we can't see the future. We don't know the impact of our decisions on the rest of life - or on eternity. But God isn't limited at all. He sees all, knows all, and controls all. If we give Him control of our lives, He will direct our lives so that we'll have the most impact both here and in eternity.

Fears and hesitations about following God aren't unfounded. Following God doesn't mean that our lives will be easy or that everything will turn out. As we follow Him, God may, in fact, author our lives differently than we'd like. The cost of discipleship really is steep.

Author Ken Boa answers those hesitations this way: 'At the end of your life, if you saw God face-to-face and He gave you the option to go back and change something you went through as you followed Him - hardships, heartaches, whatever - you wouldn't change a thing.' When we finally see God for who He is, we'll recognize that the steep cost of following Him, laying our everything at His feet, was worth the incredible story He wrote with our lives. It's the most dangerously beautiful decision we'll ever make."